toto the dog's been chewing on my house socks. my cute little pink and blue house socks!! just sealed up the edges of the holes with candle wax >.>
stupid dog. oh well.
lately, life's been feeling like the mad hatter's tea party, i.e. it doesn't make sense. or rather, the more you think, the less sense it makes. that's what lewis carroll seemed to be trying to say, anyway. like when i was looking up the weather conditions for melbourne, the word weather began looking stranger and stranger, until i couldn't make a connection between the letters w-e-a-t-h-e-r and rainclouds/sunshine any more. the deeper you think, the more the threads seem to come apart till everything looks like a ridiculous construct.
just yesterday i was wondering what the hell to do with my life. the closer i look at it, the more i feel like i'm just going in circles. or not even circles. maybe i went forward then slid back. regression in progression. give me something that is understandable. being at melb uni, being steeped in all its academic dissections and postmodern approach, i'm being taught too much. and sociologists wonder why we're turning into a generation of kidults. hur. i like being retarded, you got a problem with that?
so. i'm thinking of skipping honours year, and instead doing a short course in fashion design, as well as a graduate diploma in animation at RMIT. get my degree, then fuck off to do whatever i simply enjoy doing. throw practicality out the window, no compromise. creative arts was a compromise, now it's time to go all the way. i'm sick of being continually disillusioned , sick of trying to figure things out so hard that i lose meaning. i create for pure pleasure, not to impose confusing philosophies that then allow me to con people into buying crap art (or non-art). join a small animation studio, design clothes on the side, just do what i love. become the eccentric aunt who can never make any money but still seems to have too much life in her. how much of a dream would this be?
bah. i don't like thinking too much. so let's keep it simple. jp, euni, cheryl, soheb: let's set up an animation studio together. let's be interesting and dynamic and alive. choose between the red pill and the blue.
p.s. the video and song below are dedicated to a chapter closed but not resolved. enjoy.
