Monday, June 26, 2006
misanthropei have come to the conclusion that i am no longer used to being around so many people for such an extended period of time. since i have been back, i've rarely had time to myself, like
really to myself, and it's been driving me nuts. i want to see my friends. i want to kick back and chill out with only my music or art or a good book for company. and air conditioning. air conditioning is good....
*ahem* to return to the point, i'm feeling snappy and misanthropic right now. grr! it's tiring to be around people, especially when they're your female relatives who talk like they're trying to generate enough sonic boom to make your skull implode and drag you around like a pathetic rag doll. right now i'm thinking what alot of guys probably think when they hang out with a gaggle of girls: how do women find so much to talk about? and since women's voices are relatively quite high, it gets really grating. beyond a certain point, everything just sounds like 'nyehnyehnyehnyehnyehnyehnyeh' to me. besides it being noisy, having certain people around puts you in a certain mood, makes you hold yourself in a certain way. and for some reason, my extended family members make me feel very uncomfortable. it's like an interrogation, the way our conversations go, when i'd just like everything to all hang out. i can't relax, so i just shut out.
maybe it's a sign of the times, this whole idea of tuning out. i mean, look at mp3 players, computer games, etc. it's definitely tuning out. which is strange, cos typically, humans are social creatures. we'd like to feel connected. seems we love to do this through artificial means, like the internet. in the end, man has built up such a large community that people can now afford to be more discriminate about who they choose as friends, which the internet has made so much easier for us to do. so does this limit us as people? looking at forums and stuff, people are flaming each other back and forth, it's almost like they cannot even accept those who are different from them. perhaps this 'broadening' of horizons is in fact leading to a rather contradictory 'narrowing'. and consequently, people are getting increasingly insular in their daily lives.
sounds like a gp essay? heh probably, except that it's really just a little drivel of what i've been thinking about. haven't been able to really sort out my thoughts, as you may well have guessed. i just needed to let out a bit of the air in my brain. lol. and goddamnit, why can't i access the new tonberry tracker?!?!?!
hmm. thinking of changing my blogskin. actually working on a few designs now, but they're not satisfactory. maybe i should learn how to do flash...
**dream until you die**5:43 PM
