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Friday, September 16, 2005

no i haven't died, not yet at any rate. i've just been drowning in a big fat pool of my own crap. basically, i've been on a bloody emotional rollercoaster lately. going from being incredibly high to incredibly BLEEEAAARRGGHH-why-am-i-here-just-bloody-kill-me. i'm feeling extremely depressed about my work, just incredibly inferior about it, cos i seem to be the only person with absolutely no friggin' idea what i'm doing, and my refusal to overcomplicate my stuff seems to make people think i'm stupid or something. yes, i'm griping, i'm just screaming for attention and comforting right now, but i really don't care. i miss peeps back home like crazy, cos, well, i dunno the asians in creative arts here are just not 'on'. on the spur of the moment, i yell, "let's go shopping/eat japanese/see an art gallery", and they all just go, "what about this assignment or that assignment or whatever?" wwwwwtf?!?!?! we're arts students, we're supposed to be spontaneous. and heck, we can be forgiven for being decadent too. are you people here JUST to study?! what about the experience? what about the culture? hellloooo?!?!?! these are the last people i thought would be as myopic as this but apparently....

i've only been gallery-prowling once since i've been here, and that was with andrew. nothing wrong with gallery-viewing with a goth who's got a fetish for apocalyptic paintings and matrix-esque machinery, but i need some fun female company. okay, so there's lyn (singapore) and mac (singapore) and yvonne (malaysia) and josh (indonesia) for more typical company, but they're all in commerce and science, not exactly the sort who'd see being dragged around 100 year-old paintings as a treat. i mean, purnimah is just...i dunno, she's not crazy enough for me. we basically go out, eat, then she wants to get home to do her work. blargh. i really want to ask, do you really have any interest in art, or what? and imimi always has something on with her girlfriend. phfft. thank god mid-sem break is here.

of course, life's not just been a total shit-hole, the good comes with the bad. saw jesus christ superstar, where judas was played by a girl with a mohawk.wahahahaha. that was with lyn and mac, but josh and yvonne couldn't come along that night. they're probably the people i feel most at home with, but since i'm in a totally different fac, we rarely see each other. we're supposed to arrange a south park-cum-team america marathon during the upcoming holidays (this coming week) and stay over at mac's place, but i dunno if that'll really materialise. anyways, photos from that night!


on the tram down to lygon street for hot chocolate after the show. lygon is a 'little italy', alot of gorgeous dessert shops and cafes along it. also some of the best thai food! (can you see my new biker jacket?? bwahahaha. and i need a haircut.)


isn't that lovely?! our hot chocolates from koko black, plus a chocolate mousse and an ice cream martini. it was too much chocolate, lyn went back and puked. i ate chocolate again the next day though. wahahahaha.

sigh......i wanna go hoooome....i miss everybody soooo much. oh btw, my flight's coming in on the 13th of nov, probably landing at about 2130 hrs or something. yup. i'm just dying to get back. then i'll go mad eating all the kway chap i can!!! it's dull here, with not many people to talk to, and not many people to go out with. i've like seen about1/100th of the city so far, and i want to see more, but no guts to do it all by myself. and i'm still pretty down about my work. gah. i should stop kao bei-ing already. i feel better now anyways, after talking bout going home. hurry up and come, november!



**dream until you die**
5:13 PM