Wednesday, July 20, 2005
after a harrowing seven-hour flight that featured crazy screaming kids (i had to stick in my earplugs and turn on dir en grey before i could sleep,
that's how bad it was), and awful service, i finally arrived in melbourne at, like, 4.45am, melbourne time. it's kind of strange, cos i expected to feel different, since it's just, this will be my new home and blah blah blah, but i was just...numb. it seemed like any other trip, even when i met aunty margaret and simon at the airport, and they brought me out to the house and settled me in, but all i could think was, 'damn it's cold' (i was playing with my breath and shivering in my boots.) maybe it was the bad food, or the lack of sleep, or the profusion of cigarette smoke that greeted me outside the terminal, but my brain was simply reduced to its most primitive of processes: registering air temperatures. the whole impact of this moving away from home thing, being in a totally new environment in fact, only hit me just now while listening 'ain't afraid to die', two days after my arrival. is it because i've been too busy and too tired these past two days to actual process everything? i'm not sure, but that's just they way it is.
i've spent my time here so far trying to take in transport routes (one freaking hour to get to school, and the buses and trams are hell confusing), enrolling, organising my timetable, and fixing up my internet (which, by the way, has not happened yet; i'm leeching off the host family), and after finishing the most important stuff today, i've finally had time to sit back and reflect. i miss everybody back home. alot. it's difficult, starting over, and it doesn't help that none of the people here are like anybody back home. they're too...straight? not sexually, i mean, yeah they're heterosexual, but by straight i don't mean
that sort of straight. i just don't see any of them cracking crappy jokes about bananas and moisture. they're nice, of course, and i met a
lot of singaporeans (almost half the international students are singaporean), it's just that the air about them is different. some are from rj, some came from poly, still others are from uwc. get what i mean? yup. at the same time, signing up for my course modules, i felt oddly at home. disjointed, but at home. these are things i want to do, things i love to do, things i can now do, but it's at a cost of certain relationships, and a risk that i might change.
i'm already worried that my accent is changing. i hope that i can be home sometime soon.
sis: i didn't have time to say a proper goodbye to you, since you were away. walking around in melbourne today, i kept looking into stores and thinking, oh eunice would like that! it's an awful feeling, really, and i almost bought this enormous super chocolate frog (it's bigger than my head) from 'heigh's' today for you to share with ray, when i remembered that i wasn't heading home for another few months. you better come visit me soon. get the girls, take a trip up, and i'll bring you all for the best italian food in melbourne.
everyone: i haven't the time to do individual emails yet, this is a pretty rushed entry actually. but i promise, i will get down to it. in the meantime, watch this space for updates XD
**dream until you die**10:42 AM
